Socially Awkward
by Kytanic
Summary: Little short story off of my main fic, 'A Whole New World'. Farengar has never been a master of speech, not even close. But he is VERY good at cutting people down. Farengar Secret-Fire/ F!OC. T for language.


_A/N: Hey guys!_

 _So please don't shoot me for not updating A Whole New World. I actually have the next chapter all written out and edited and have begun writing the next one. For this particular arc in my story, I'm gonna need to do a lot of fine tuning. There are a bunch of elements that go into this story, and, honestly, a story of and type! I know that most of you know my frustrations in adding subtle nuances to a story, and for those of you who don't, don't worry! It just means that the following chapters that come out will be much more fine tuned and come out like lightening! With my next semester of college starting soon, I'm gonna need to do my writing now. :)_

 _Anyway, I thought I could tide you guys over with a cute little fluff fic between our favorite cynical wizard and his mischievous heroine!_

* * *

 _Yes, this is it..._

He could feel it now, his mind and soul working in sync, and yet apart from one another. They were molding together into one, multi-layered blanket of pure magicka, each layer precise in timing with the other. He could feel his heart rate slow to a crawl in his chest, his lungs inhaling and exhaling in smooth currents, his mind sharp and focused, his muscles tensing and releasing and stretching in delicate and yet intricate movements. So complicated and precise this magic was, that if his concentration lapsed for even a mere second, he feared he would never-

" _Achoo!_ "

Farengar jolted, his eyes snapping open only to see a bolt of volatile energy fly from his hands, barely giving him time to scream something akin to 'no' before it struck the dagger he had been using, the metal melting into the now scorched wood of his enchanting table.

He simply stood there in shock, his mouth open, his eyes widened, and his arms still outstretched. His mind went completely blank, his brain completely shutting down.

Vaguely he picked up on the gasp of a young woman as she rushed up to stand behind him, apparently speaking to him in hurried and emotional tones, but he couldn't even decipher what she was saying. All he saw was the now-cooling remains of the dagger that had now melted into his table.

 _My entire life thus far... Was spent to reach this moment... to understand a magicka that had been lost to the ages... to relearn how to make dual enchantments... I had it..._

 _And it's gone._

He felt the shock slowly fading away, the rising of his heart rate and blood pressure being the only indicator of such. He slowly lowered his arms to his sides and his eyes turned toward the floor. Then he closed them, his shock now quickly translating into anger that made him grit his teeth and clench his fists so tight that he was pretty sure he could draw blood. And this was not helped by the now very obvious nervous prattle of the woman beside him.

"... and I dunno, I've just been feeling kind of under the weather and I thought that you might have something for this stupid sneeze I have and I swear I didn't mean to make you lose focus like that. Please, Farengar, I'm so-"

"... Up"

She paused her rambling and peered at him curiously. "What was-?"

" _I said shut up!"_ He snapped suddenly, turning his fury onto Lilly, who quickly took a step back at his sudden burst of anger. He glared at her with such rage that it practically set his stormy eyes on fire and his fists were still held tightly to his sides. Lilly looked at his in surprise, then glanced down, rubbing her arm in an act of nerves. "I'm so-"

" _I said shut up you spoiled, ingratful little wench!"_ He was practically a shaking with rage now, unable to control the words that flew from his tongue.

"I come here, into _my_ study, to be _alone_! I study magicka _alone!_ I read about dragons _alone!_ I study the ancient mysteries of the Dwemer and Falmer here, in my office, my sacred space, _alone_! All that I want, in this Gods forsaken world is to be left _a-lone_! I am not here to cater to your every fancy, I am not here to ensure your comfort and play host in a place where you clearly don't belong, and I'm not your nurse-maid! If you need to suck off of someone's teat, find another person, _because I could care less about tending to every whim of a bitchy princess like you!"_

With each passing sentence, Lilly phased from shock to anger almost as quickly as he had, and soon had no trouble lashing him with her own words. She stepped closer to him , invading his personal space even though her head only came up to his chin.

"Back off you fucking prick. If you were actually _listening_ to anything I was saying while you were having your little melt down, you would know that the only reason I came here was to get some medicine since I'm not allowed to leave the castle! So, unless one of the maids suddenly learned how to make meds overnight, I suggest you take back what you said right. Fucking. Now."

She punctuated the last three words of her tirade with jabs to his chest, only making him boil all the more. Needless to say that her intimidation tactics did not have the desired effect. There was now no turning back from the boil-over that inevitably occurred. He all but towered over her, imposing in height and expression, the darkness of his glare only enhanced further by his lowered hood.

"You are a child," He hissed. "You could never comprehend the severity of the research that you interrupted with your petty sniffles! Is watching me struggle so entertaining to you that you must do it constantly? Must you continue to delude yourself into believing that you have companions in this world? And that I am one of them? Must I entertain your fantasies all day when the importance of this research could forever benefit human and elven kind alike? No! You do not belong here, and noone will miss you when you depart from this wretched place!"

He finally paused for breath, his chest practically heaving. But as he looked down at her, he realized he should have just kept his mouth shut instead of exploding at her in such a way, like she was just some idiotic apprentice that had interrupted his research. She still looked angry, her coppery hazel eyes still burning with fury, but it was dimmed... By the sheen of unshed tears that blurred her glare.

His heart dropped in his chest and his immediate reaction was to apologize and take back what he said as she whipped her head to the side to hide her tears.

"Li-"

"No," She said, her voice like a growl of an angry sabre cat. She was trembling slightly, and he shut his mouth, swallowing. She was quiet for a few moments, and for a moment he thought she would just stay there until she could lash at him again. And, to be perfectly honest, he would have preferred that. But instead she spoke, her voice colder than any Skyrim winter.

"So that's what you think."

It wasn't a question, and before he could respond, she stormed from the room, leaving him staring after her with a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

After he cleaned up the mess on his table, he decided it might be wise to let a little more time pass by before he tried to hunt her down and apologize. The problem was, he didn't know exactly how. He had never exactly been close with many people in his life, and most people who were yelled at by him often either completely deserved it or just took it as another part of his rather bitter personality. But with Lilly it was different. He truly cared for her, more than he had cared for anyone in a long time. And the worst of it was that his emotional attachment was forming so quickly that it was almost jarring to a man that had spent the majority of his years in either seething hatred of firm concentration.

He paced back and forth across his study, worrying at his hands behind his back and his head bent in thought. Would she even listen to him? What if he had simply ruined any chance he had with her in just one explosion? Of course, he would find it rather silly that he would ever be able to hold onto her with all of his problems. Lack of trust, anxiety, short fuse, and not to mention his insessent need to push the buttons and insult anyone he meets. Truly, it was a miracle that anyone could stand his presence.

He quickly sat in his chair in a huff of frustration, burying his face in his hands before leaning back and staring at the ceiling. It was pathetic really, how much he pined after her. She saw so little of herself, evident in all of her deflections of compliments of any kind. She would make herself out to be stupid, but in reality she was more well versed in the history of Skyrim than he was. She could be crude and brash, but that was all part of her charm. She was like some strange contradiction, her words and actions fierce and defensive like a Sabre Cat defending her territory. But at other times, when she was peering through her long, dark lashes at a page in deep concentration or when she delicately examined a piece of dragon bone, she appeared almost graceful and intelligent. He smirked at himself.

 _Like a princess._

His lips drew back into a frown, recalling the previous argument. And now he had tried to chase her off in a fit of frustration. Yes, it was an important accomplishment in his studies, but nothing was worth making her cry like that. For all his intellect, he might as well have hit her. That might have even stung less. Damn this predisposition to snarky and antagonistic comments...

He slid a sideways glance out the window, noticing that the sun was beginning to dip out of sight, the darkness of night quickly creeping in. If he was going to do this, he had to find her now and stop mulling over his emotions.

* * *

He was correct in he second assumption.

Having checked her bedroom only to find it empty, he crossed through the halls and out the doors and onto the Great Porch. He saw her leaning over the railing at the end, staring out at the mountains, her arms tucked against her to keep the cold at bay. Her attire of a common pale blue gown with shortened sleeves and sloping neckline was doing little to keep the bite of Skyrim from her.

He walked up quietly, reaching the table before she shot him a sidelong glare and then her gaze returned to the scenery.

"What, didn't make your point in your study? Here to whip me a few more times, right?" Her voice was filled with bitter humor. He smirked slightly inwardly. _Seems I'm rubbing off on her._ But there was nothing humorous about the stone in his stomach. He stepped around the table, stopping a few feet away from her, joining her by also taking in the scenery. After a moment or two of silence, he cleared his throat, unsure exactly what to say.

"Lilly, I'm very sorry for what I said in the study. I was angry-"

"So?" She inquired, glaring at him, turning her body to face him and crossing her arms over her chest. "What I've learned is that the most honest people there are in the world are the angry and the drunk." She narrowed her eyes, her jaw setting angrily. "But what would I know? I'm just a stupid _child_ with no hope of understanding anything."

He leveled a look at her, his normal scowl present on his lips.

"Lilly, if everything I said when I was angry or drunk were true, two apprentices would be piles of ash and I would be married to a goat." His attempt at humor went ignored however, and she just turned back to the mountains and plains before her. He sighed heavily, cursing himself.

"Look, I say things. I say a lot of things, actually. I am a grouchy man with a foul temper and the people skills of a dead skeever. I don't believe I could ever give you an apology that could even begin to makeup for what I said because it seems that my specialty is chasing everyone away." Lilly had decided to spare him an even look, before returning her eyes to their previous position.

He let out a huff of air in frustration before grabbing her shoulder and turning her to face him, which caused a most peculiar face of surprise and annoyance.

"But I need you to know that everything that I said back there had nothing to do with you. It wasn't your fault that you felt ill and did exactly what you thought you should have done. And in any other circumstance I would have helped, but the enchantments I was weaving into that dagger were the pinnacle of my research. However, you did not deserve to be spoken to in that way." He paused, unsure of what to say next as he stared into her eyes. His heart started beating in a slightly irregular fashion, and he had to bow his head slightly for the next bit.

"I care about you, very deeply in fact. More deeply than I have cared for anyone else. And all of this business with the prophecy and your dream and that failed experiment on top of so many others, I lost touch with how to act like a gentleman. So I truly hope you could forgive my idiocy." He took a deep breath, praying to Talos that his intentions got across to her. But when he met her eyes, he was surprised to see that he was actually smiling slightly. She shook her head slightly, a small laugh escaping her lips.

"You know, just admitting you're an asshole would be the perfect apology."

Farengar's brow shot up, surprise evident on his face. He had spent so much time mulling over this apology and she-

And then she started laughing.

She started with a juvenile snort then broke into a fit of giggles that was so contagious that Farengar felt himself ease up and begin to chuckle along with her. It was funny how well she could read into him and know what to say at just the right time. He had never had that kind of connection with anyone, and he loved how free it made him feel. Like his lungs could actually breath air again after being submerged for so long.

He smiled and did something he had never done to anyone before: He hugged her.

She tensed only for a moment before gripping him like some children's toy. It was a wonderful and simple that made his heart soar, and he held her there, breathing in the scent of her hair: something sweet and somewhat spicy. Cinnamon, probably. And with each passing second his happiness grew exponentially because she wasn't letting go either, burying her face into his chest. He smiled into her hair a few moments later, them pulled away slowly after he realized that they were embracing for far longer than was appropriate. But one look at her wide grin displayed that, in her own words, 'gave no fucks at all'.

"Can we go inside now?" She asked sweetly. "I'm freezing..."

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea," Farengar said, watching as faint little clouds left his mouth with ever exhale. He lead her back into the warmth of the castle and as he started to head toward his study, Lilly called after him. He turned, a curious look on his brow.

"So, that thing I interrupted," She began. "You said enchantment _s._ Plural. Does that mean...?"

He chuckled a little then sighed in a good nature. "Well, as they say, everything at least happens twice in a lifetime, or something like that."

Lilly flushed and started to stutter out an apology before he held up a hand.

"Don't worry. I'll simply have to keep tweaking my original idea to return to that result." He flashed her a quick, reassuring smile as she relaxed. "Besides, we have all the time in the world."

* * *

 _A/N: Well there it is! Hehe, silly Farengar and his foreshadowing. Anyway, I promise that the new chapters will be up very soon! Thank you all!_


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